Dear Friends:
Last week, a girlfriend came over to pick up one of my favorite books of all time, Humility by Andrew Murray. As she looked at the cover, she asked incredulously, “When did life become all about me? I’m consumed with myself.” She went on to tell me that she recently broke off an engagement because she realized that self-absorption and marriage just don’t mix. She’s absolutely right. I applaud her self-awareness because most of us have no idea just how consumed we are with ourselves. I shuddered when the depth of my own pride became abundantly clear one day.
Exactly when did life become all about us? I believe it started in the Garden of Eden. The same tricks satan used to ensnare Eve at the beginning of mankind, still work brilliantly today. The lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life get us every time. Pride, in essence, says: ‘It’s all about me. I don’t need God. I can do it myself.’ This sense of self-sufficiency is rampant in today’s culture.
The media and pop culture do a great job in promoting that spirit of pride. Just look at the most popular TV shows; “American Idol” “America’s Next Top Model” “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire.” These messages all scream; “I’m number one!” “I’m a winner and you’re a loser!” “It’s all about me!” Our society breeds people who want to be exalted. To our detriment, the virtues of meekness, servanthood, and humility have become laughable in the world and virtually non-existent in the church.
Contrary to popular culture, it’s not about you. You were not created for your own pleasure. You were created by God for His pleasure. Until you realize this, life will be very frustrating. Jesus’ teachings on pride and humility are vast and clear:
“Whoever exalts himself will be humbled and he who humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 14:11
“There are the last who will be first and the first who will be last.” Luke 13:30
“Whoever desires to be great among you, let him be your servant.” Matthew 20:26
“Learn from Me, for I am meek and lowly in heart.” Matthew 11:2
“Blessed are the meek for they shall inherit the earth.” Matthew 5:5
In the Kingdom of God, the way up, is down and the way down is up. Remember, pride always comes before a fall. Just as pride says: ‘I don’t need God,’ humility says: ‘I am nothing without God. I choose to be nothing so that He can be all. "God resists the proud but gives grace to the humble". James 4:6.
As we enter this Christmas season, let us be ever mindful of the true reason for the season: The King of Kings and Lord of Lords who chose to make Himself of no reputation and came down from Heaven not to be served, but to serve and give His life a ransom for many. Behold, the meek and humble Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world. Let us humble ourselves, bow down and worship Him.
Monday, November 26, 2007
Thursday, September 27, 2007
The Condition Of Our Souls
How can we even begin to address the issue of finding a soul mate without first addressing the condition of our souls? Rev. Cheryl Lenzley asked the piercing question that just lives with me. Do we know the condition of our souls? Do we even care to know? As a result of hosting many “Soulmate” discussions, it seems for the most part, that our souls are troubled, anxious, and unfulfilled. Our souls are damaged from past hurts and childhood wounds. Studies show that one in four women and one in five men have been abused as a child. There’s a hole in our souls.
Many of us try to fill that hole with things like money, sex, work, material things, achievement and food. Yet, the hole never seems to get filled. As my friend Shannon Tanner said in this month’s featured article, “Sex, Lies and Chocolate Cake,” “We settle for the hot dog when what we really want is the hot man.” But what we really “want” and what we truly need are often two different things. As long as we move though life with unexamined, wounded souls, we will continue to have the same relationships over and over again.
A satisfied soul loathes the honeycomb but to a hungry soul, every bitter thing is sweet. Proverbs 27:7
A soul that is full and satisfied doesn’t yearn for anything and is not tempted by any sweet thing, no matter how hot he(she) is. But to the hungry soul, even “junk food” looks good because when you’re hungry you’ll eat just about anything. Friends, our souls are hungry. As I mentioned in my previous blog, we are what we eat. Unfortunately, the “food” that the media and our culture serve up is junk at best and poison at worst. But we’re famished, so we eat… every bitter thing. The result: spiritual diabetes.
So, what satisfies our souls? Nothing but the presence of God. We attempt to fill our souls from the outside in when it can only be filled from the inside out.
The Lord is my Shepherd; I shall not want. He makes me to lie down in green pastures. He leads me beside still waters. He restores my soul. Psalm 23:1-3
God literally restores our damaged souls to the souls they were created to be. Most of us don’t know who we really are underneath all our pain and disappointments. It is only though an intimate relationship with God that we discover our true selves. It is only through an intimate relationship with God that we learn how to have intimate relationships with others.
So, how do you even begin to develop an intimate relationship with God, you ask? The same way you develop an intimate relationship with anyone else. You open the door of your heart, invite Him in and spend time with Him.
Andrea Wiley
President, Clean Heart Productions
Saturday, July 28, 2007
We Bought Into The Lie!
“We bought into the lie!” Michelle McKinney Hammond’s words echoed in my mind as I take in the scene around me. It’s a Saturday afternoon in my hair salon, the place where my journey to making Soulmate officially began some three years ago. I’ll never forget when my friend Felecia turned to me from under her hair dryer and said. “I’m embarrassed to tell people I’m single at 42,” and the rest, as they say, is history. I note the marked difference in the atmosphere today. Nobody’s talking. Instead, everyone has their noses buried in magazines bearing the faces of Britney, Paris or Lindsay. You know the magazines. They beckon us from airport newsstands, wink at us from the supermarket check out lines and seduce us from beauty shop counters around the world. ‘You know you want to read me,’ they seem to taunt. And we, almost hypnotically, take the bait.
As I look around the salon, I ask myself, “What’s wrong with this picture?” I mean, here sat some of L.A.’s most accomplished, professional, African American women fixated on Lindsay Lohan. I took a mental note and went back to working on my laptop. After all, who am I to begrudge anyone their guilty pleasure? Several years ago, I was not just a “beauty shop” reader of “those” magazines I was a (gulp) subscriber.
My husband, Roland, so detested those publications, that he’d rip the covers off hoping to give me a not so subtle hint. “Why are you filling your mind with that stuff?” he’d ask. “I’m in entertainment and I need to keep up with the industry and the culture,” I’d justify. “Mmph,” he’d shake his head and walk away. One day, after I’d been “hood-winked” at the supermarket check out counter, I brought home three such magazines headlining one celebrity calamity after another. That was the last straw. Roland put his foot down. “I don’t want you to bring those magazines in this house anymore. Those images are bad for our children.” Well, how could I argue with that? He was absolutely right. How could I not have seen it? Those magazines are not just bad for our children, they’re bad for everyone. But as Michelle Hammond said, I too had bought into the lie. I cancelled my subscriptions and have not purchased one since that day.
We live in a world where narcissism, materialism and wanton sex abound. Greed, reckless living and sexual immorality have suddenly become cool. The result? Utter devastation. Just check the stats on teen pregnancy, the explosion of HIV/AIDS, incarceration rates, murder, depression, suicide and the like. We are in a state of moral crisis. Yet we wonder why our lives just aren’t working. It is a sad commentary that the average person knows more about the life of Paris Hilton than they know about the life of Jesus Christ.
Just as a steady diet of fast food and candy makes you sick and causes tooth decay, a steady diet of “eye candy” and “ear candy” cause spiritual decay. The old saying is true. You are what you eat. What are you eating? What are you consuming with your eyes and ears? Have you considered how it affects your thoughts? The audio/visual “food” we consume plants seeds in our minds that either nourish or harm our spirits. In Soulmate, Rev. Dr. Cynthia Hale explained how she was able to honor her temple and remain celibate for 18 years; “It all starts with a thought and then we want to act on that thought and live it out. So what I had to do was turn that thought life over to God.” If consuming certain media causes your mind to wander dangerously, you must avoid it at all cost. “Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ…” 2 Corinthians 10:5
Singles in particular, have to be particularly vigilant about guarding what they watch, read and listen to. Popular dating shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, steamy romance novels and most popular songs actually heighten feelings of desperation, anxiety, loneliness and feelings of inadequacy. On the contrary, inspirational shows, books and music help us to feel empowered. They help to take our focus off of ourselves and our problems and put it on the true source of our strength and joy. Remember, that which we place our focused and regular attention on, will influence our thoughts, then our actions and ultimately our very beings. Who we ultimately become, starts in the mind. “As he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7
So how do we effectively counteract the quicksand effect of this ever present cultural sludge? Just as we consume vitamins and herbs to shore up our diet and stave off illness, we also have to add healthy supplements to our minds to help build our spirits. Sitting in a church for two hours a week simply isn’t enough to eradicate the other 100 hours of negative media propaganda. Just because we live in a culture intent on replacing God with self and celebrity, doesn’t mean we have to fall for the okey-doke.
It’s all about choice. Just say no. Turn off the TV. Offensive programming will go away if there are no viewers. Change radio station. Purchase inspiring music. Read empowering literature. Just sit still for a moment and listen for the small, yet unmistakable voice of God. “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
Let’s face it. Being physically and spiritually healthy takes a great deal of discipline and sacrifice. Discipline and sacrifice don’t feel good until you realize their enduring benefits. The benefits of a life of wholeness, freedom from the power of sin and fellowship with God far outweigh the fleeting pleasures and ultimate regret of a life of self-gratification.
Our Creator left an amazing and detailed instruction manual called the Bible that gives us step by step instructions on how to live life to the fullest as we were designed to live. Tragically, many of us only open the manual once a week in church or when we’re going through a crisis. Like most instruction manuals, we only open them when something is broken. Think about it. We’re literally trying to operate the most complex piece of machinery on earth without reading the manual! And again, we wonder why our lives just aren’t working. “If you meditate in My Word you are my disciples indeed and you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:31-32
The more you saturate your mind with the truth of who you are, Whose you are and how you’re supposed to live, the less appealing the lies of the world become. The world is completely antithetical to the Word of God. In the world, it’s not cool to be celibate. It’s not hip to be humble.
The world says: “It’s all about me.” The Word says: “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 18:14
The world says: “What have you done for me lately?” The Word says: “By this we know love, He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” 1 John 3:16
The world says: “It’s all about the benjamins.” The Word says: “The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil from which some have strayed from their faith in their greediness...” 1Timothy 6:10
The world says: “If it feels good, do it.” The Word says: “Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you.” 1 Corinthians 6:19 “Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy acceptable to God… Romans 12:1
The world says: “It’s your thing. Do what you want to do.” The Word says: “You are not your own. You were bought at a price therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
The world says: “What’s love got to do with it?” The Word says: “He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” 1 John 4:8
It’s time we stop consuming the lies of this culture and begin consuming the truths of God so that we may begin the journey to wholeness. The Word of God is very clear. “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...” Romans 12:2. “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in them.” 1John 2:15. “For all that is in the world-- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.” 1John 2:16. “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other or he will be loyal to one and despise the other,” Matthew 6:24 “Choose for yourselves this day, whom you shall serve...” Joshua 24:15. “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.” John 1:1.
So, whom do you serve…the world or the Word?
Andrea Wiley
President, Clean Heart Productions
Please see the Clean Heart book recommendation list and the Clean Heart Lifestyle challenge for additional suggestions on how you can make more empowering media choices. www.soulmatefilm.com I highly recommend: God’s Vision Or Television by Carl Jeffrey Wright. www.urbanministries.com
Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.
Watch your words, for they become your actions.
Watch your actions, for they become your habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your DESTINY.
As I look around the salon, I ask myself, “What’s wrong with this picture?” I mean, here sat some of L.A.’s most accomplished, professional, African American women fixated on Lindsay Lohan. I took a mental note and went back to working on my laptop. After all, who am I to begrudge anyone their guilty pleasure? Several years ago, I was not just a “beauty shop” reader of “those” magazines I was a (gulp) subscriber.
My husband, Roland, so detested those publications, that he’d rip the covers off hoping to give me a not so subtle hint. “Why are you filling your mind with that stuff?” he’d ask. “I’m in entertainment and I need to keep up with the industry and the culture,” I’d justify. “Mmph,” he’d shake his head and walk away. One day, after I’d been “hood-winked” at the supermarket check out counter, I brought home three such magazines headlining one celebrity calamity after another. That was the last straw. Roland put his foot down. “I don’t want you to bring those magazines in this house anymore. Those images are bad for our children.” Well, how could I argue with that? He was absolutely right. How could I not have seen it? Those magazines are not just bad for our children, they’re bad for everyone. But as Michelle Hammond said, I too had bought into the lie. I cancelled my subscriptions and have not purchased one since that day.
We live in a world where narcissism, materialism and wanton sex abound. Greed, reckless living and sexual immorality have suddenly become cool. The result? Utter devastation. Just check the stats on teen pregnancy, the explosion of HIV/AIDS, incarceration rates, murder, depression, suicide and the like. We are in a state of moral crisis. Yet we wonder why our lives just aren’t working. It is a sad commentary that the average person knows more about the life of Paris Hilton than they know about the life of Jesus Christ.
Just as a steady diet of fast food and candy makes you sick and causes tooth decay, a steady diet of “eye candy” and “ear candy” cause spiritual decay. The old saying is true. You are what you eat. What are you eating? What are you consuming with your eyes and ears? Have you considered how it affects your thoughts? The audio/visual “food” we consume plants seeds in our minds that either nourish or harm our spirits. In Soulmate, Rev. Dr. Cynthia Hale explained how she was able to honor her temple and remain celibate for 18 years; “It all starts with a thought and then we want to act on that thought and live it out. So what I had to do was turn that thought life over to God.” If consuming certain media causes your mind to wander dangerously, you must avoid it at all cost. “Take every thought captive to the obedience of Christ…” 2 Corinthians 10:5
Singles in particular, have to be particularly vigilant about guarding what they watch, read and listen to. Popular dating shows like The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, steamy romance novels and most popular songs actually heighten feelings of desperation, anxiety, loneliness and feelings of inadequacy. On the contrary, inspirational shows, books and music help us to feel empowered. They help to take our focus off of ourselves and our problems and put it on the true source of our strength and joy. Remember, that which we place our focused and regular attention on, will influence our thoughts, then our actions and ultimately our very beings. Who we ultimately become, starts in the mind. “As he thinks in his heart, so is he.” Proverbs 23:7
So how do we effectively counteract the quicksand effect of this ever present cultural sludge? Just as we consume vitamins and herbs to shore up our diet and stave off illness, we also have to add healthy supplements to our minds to help build our spirits. Sitting in a church for two hours a week simply isn’t enough to eradicate the other 100 hours of negative media propaganda. Just because we live in a culture intent on replacing God with self and celebrity, doesn’t mean we have to fall for the okey-doke.
It’s all about choice. Just say no. Turn off the TV. Offensive programming will go away if there are no viewers. Change radio station. Purchase inspiring music. Read empowering literature. Just sit still for a moment and listen for the small, yet unmistakable voice of God. “Be still and know that I am God.” Psalm 46:10
Let’s face it. Being physically and spiritually healthy takes a great deal of discipline and sacrifice. Discipline and sacrifice don’t feel good until you realize their enduring benefits. The benefits of a life of wholeness, freedom from the power of sin and fellowship with God far outweigh the fleeting pleasures and ultimate regret of a life of self-gratification.
Our Creator left an amazing and detailed instruction manual called the Bible that gives us step by step instructions on how to live life to the fullest as we were designed to live. Tragically, many of us only open the manual once a week in church or when we’re going through a crisis. Like most instruction manuals, we only open them when something is broken. Think about it. We’re literally trying to operate the most complex piece of machinery on earth without reading the manual! And again, we wonder why our lives just aren’t working. “If you meditate in My Word you are my disciples indeed and you shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.” John 8:31-32
The more you saturate your mind with the truth of who you are, Whose you are and how you’re supposed to live, the less appealing the lies of the world become. The world is completely antithetical to the Word of God. In the world, it’s not cool to be celibate. It’s not hip to be humble.
The world says: “It’s all about me.” The Word says: “Whoever exalts himself will be humbled and whoever humbles himself will be exalted.” Luke 18:14
The world says: “What have you done for me lately?” The Word says: “By this we know love, He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” 1 John 3:16
The world says: “It’s all about the benjamins.” The Word says: “The love of money is the root of all kinds of evil from which some have strayed from their faith in their greediness...” 1Timothy 6:10
The world says: “If it feels good, do it.” The Word says: “Your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you.” 1 Corinthians 6:19 “Present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy acceptable to God… Romans 12:1
The world says: “It’s your thing. Do what you want to do.” The Word says: “You are not your own. You were bought at a price therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s.” 1 Corinthians 6:19-20
The world says: “What’s love got to do with it?” The Word says: “He who does not love does not know God, for God is love.” 1 John 4:8
It’s time we stop consuming the lies of this culture and begin consuming the truths of God so that we may begin the journey to wholeness. The Word of God is very clear. “Do not be conformed to this world but be transformed by the renewing of your mind...” Romans 12:2. “Do not love the world or the things in the world. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in them.” 1John 2:15. “For all that is in the world-- the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world.” 1John 2:16. “No one can serve two masters; for either he will hate the one and love the other or he will be loyal to one and despise the other,” Matthew 6:24 “Choose for yourselves this day, whom you shall serve...” Joshua 24:15. “In the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God.” John 1:1.
So, whom do you serve…the world or the Word?
Andrea Wiley
President, Clean Heart Productions
Please see the Clean Heart book recommendation list and the Clean Heart Lifestyle challenge for additional suggestions on how you can make more empowering media choices. www.soulmatefilm.com I highly recommend: God’s Vision Or Television by Carl Jeffrey Wright. www.urbanministries.com
Watch your thoughts, for they become your words.
Watch your words, for they become your actions.
Watch your actions, for they become your habits.
Watch your habits, for they become your character.
Watch your character, for it becomes your DESTINY.
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